Broke but hopeful

2 min readApr 13
Image by Karolina Grabowska (on Pexel)

I’m not doing super well. Financially, you might say I’m broke.

I’m working 10 hours a week and getting paid $30 more than how much my rent is. I live by myself and don’t split expenses with anyone. I’m currently on the (13-week long) waiting list to get on the dole.

I would have all the reasons to be stressed about this. But I’m not.

I have never been so broke in my life — I have never struggled with money more than right now — yet, I’ve never not felt anxious about it.

I wish I could explain this to you in more practical terms, but it’s more of a feeling: hope.

Here’s the thing: I’ve been applying for jobs for the last month or so. The more I scroll through the endless list of possibilities, the pickier I get.

Just over a year ago, I would have applied for anything. I was scared and anxious about not having an income.

But now, I’m much more clear on what I want out of a job, and I’m only applying for jobs that tick all the boxes.

Working for other people has been feeling less and less appealing. And developing my own projects is becoming more and more realistic and possible.

I’m starting to believe I can do this — I can REALLY do this.

I can write more books, and I can learn how to actually sell them.

I can follow through with that project I’ve been drafting, I can pursue what I’m really passionate about (and I know I’m passionate about it because I think about it all the time).

The life I want is becoming more and more clear.

Financial freedom is high on the list.
Being able to travel without being constrained by a job.
Buying a cute house or a piece of land somewhere.
Getting more creative projects out there.

I am so excited about what’s coming — and I know money is one of those things. I’m not going to be broke for much longer.

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They/them. List enthusiast. Loves Italics. Occasionally swears. BUY CUT THE BULLSHIT: